It’s been exactly two weeks since I wrote my last post and let me tell you, since then my mind has been flooding with things to write about but here, as I sit, I don’t really know what to write about, so I’m probably going to sit here for a few minutes and just think about the past two weeks, so please excuse me as I ponder. I’ll be back soon.
. . .
Okay I’m back. So something that has been on my mind a lot lately is ANXIETY. Not only has it been on my mind, but it’s been making itself prominent in my stomach and my legs and pretty much my whole body. I found out I had an anxiety disorder my sophomore year of high school but I didn’t really understand it amidst all the chaos in my mind.
Plural anxieties
1 (a) : apprehensive uneasiness or nervousness usually over an impending or anticipated ill
(2) medical : an abnormal and overwhelming sense of apprehension and fear often marked by physical signs (such as tension, sweating, and increased pulse rate), by doubt concerning the reality and nature of the threat, and by self-doubt about one’s capacity to cope with it
Anxiety is very personal, very individual. For example, I sweat a lot (anyone who knows me knows I have very active sweat glands) and while I do believe I was just naturally born sweat-active 24/7, I may also sweat due to my anxiety. While anyone who suffers from anxiety knows that there are triggers (things you may see or think about that directly lead to feelings of stress or panic), anxious feelings can also hit you out of nowhere. There are days where I wake up in the morning and my legs feel numb. They feel so stiff and tingly, you would have thought I ran a marathon the night before, but let’s be honest I most definitely did not run a marathon.
It’s like your body is fighting your mind. Physically you don’t feel like you can move, but mentally you know you have to.
There are days when I drive myself crazy with the thoughts in my mind. WORRY. WORRY WORRY. This person hates me. Why would I say that? I’m gonna fail. I won’t ever be successful. I don’t know what to say. This is awkward. I’m awkward. I’m not a good person….
It’s a domino affect, and sometimes it’s very difficult to handle. But here are a few things I have found help me:
- Writing
- Painting
- Going for Walks (taking the long route to class, or running errands)
- Reading
- Watching Dr. Pimple Popper (lol I know it’s gross but for some reason it really relaxes me)
- Playing soccer
- Being outside
- Listening to music
But like I said before, anxiety is personal…INDIVIDUAL…and just because those things may help me, it doesn’t mean they will help you. But if you too are suffering from something that makes living each day difficult, something you feel you don’t have control over…work on taking control because it’s possible, that I can promise you. Try not to let your anxiety win. Sometimes it will, and that’s okay but don’t give up the fight because those days that you win, will be some of the best days of your life…not because you beat King Kong to the top of the Empire State building in a race, or ate 81 hot dogs in the annual Coney Island Hot Dog Eating Contest (beating legendary food competitor Joey Chestnut), but just because you will feel genuinely happy and free.
So here’s a reminder to fight. Channel your inner Rocky Balboa and give that ole anxiety a right hook to the temple. And remember that you’re not in the fight alone. Talk to people…when you don’t think anyone cares, you’d be surprised to find out how many do.
“There are those who are in need of some loving kindness in the unique way that you can provide.”
-Lynne Namka
Pb & Gel 