Change is a big word…like really big. Literally no, it’s no supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, but theoretically change is probably one of the biggest parts of life. With such a prominent role in our lives, it brings with it an abundance of emotions; fear, anxiety, excitement, happiness, and so many more.
This past week when I was home for Spring break, I couldn’t stop thinking about change and what I’m about to tell you is probably one reason why. So get your popcorn, blankets and cozy on up because “WHAT TIME IS IT?!?” (Unfortunately no, it’s not summer time), but it is STORY TIME….dun dun dunnnnnnnn.
Back home I work at a super cute small coffee shop in the center of town. Like you’d expect, there are a ton of regulars. You got your classic folks who stop in every morning for a simple cup of joe, no cream no sugar just the sweet goodness of a freshly brewed dark roast, and then you got your “Surprise me” regulars, those who come in everyday but never get the same drink, constantly bouncing from vanilla soy lattes to sugar free caramel macchiatos and every other extra sugary, extra caffeinated beverage. Despite this, there is one regular in particular named Bill (whose name is not actually Bill but is Bill for the content of this story), I hadn’t seen in awhile…and when I say awhile I mean AWHILE! Probably since last summer which was right after he got married. I was working behind the counter one day, whipping up some mighty tasty dranks (at least I hope so haha) when all of the sudden I look up and THERE IS FREAKING BILL, sitting at the counter with his laptop propped up looking right back at me with his face full of well-groomed facial hair. My eyes just about popped out of my head, like what was Bill doing here?! So we got talking, and I asked him how he’d been, what he’d been up to and it turns out he never stopped coming to the coffee shop, we just hadn’t crossed paths in a while with him working and me being at school. Anyhow, we kept talking for a little bit and then jokingly I asked him about the kids (not that he had any beforehand but because it’d been a long time since we’d seen each other so really who knew) and if there was a baby due and he responded by saying “tomorrow.” I gave a little chuckle because I thought he was joking with me but turned out….HOMEBOY ACTUALLY HAD A CHILD DUE THE NEXT DAY!!LIKE WHAT?!?!!! AND I TELL YOU WHAT I COULDN’T BELIEVE IT! I mean I could in that sense that that’s human nature and babies happen, but wow it seemed like just yesterday he came into the shop and we were talking about his wedding and but then just like that he’d been married almost a year and a half and was going to be a dad! I don’t know what exactly it was about that moment, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it! Suddenly, it just hit me….I realized how fast time is going and how quickly things really do change.
I mean not only was Bill about to be a dad, but another one of my coworkers just got engaged and another one who I’ve known for almost four years (we started working together around the same time) was about to become a mom in just a few short months! I started thinking all about how everyone was growing up and how everyone’s life was changing and that just sent my head spinning…I began thinking about all my friends, how they’re getting internships, living away from home, traveling, all this stuff and WHOA! I probably should’ve realized it by now but in that moment it truly hit me like wow, I’m not twelve anymore. I’m freaking twenty years old. I can almost legally drink in the United States of America and if I’m Canada well dang I’ve been able to legally drink for two years!
Like whoa.
In the moment, everything seems bigger than it is. Everything seems important because well, at that time in our lives it is. Our first shopping trip without our parents, homecoming, legally going to a rated R movie…those were some big events! Those moments come and flee so quickly and a lot of the time we don’t think twice about them but then things happen (aka Bill and his baby) and suddenly we’re reflecting on all those years and memories.
It’s never good to dwell in the past, but I think it’s important to reflect on it. To see where we were and look at where we are…sometimes we’ve come a long way and sometimes we haven’t…but that’s where change comes in. As scary as change can be, it’s good for the soul and the mind even though it may not always feel like it. Change is hard to embrace, but as the saying goes
“if it were easy everyone would do it”
or in this case embrace it. Within change lies challenge, and within challenge lies strengthand virtuosity.
I’m honest when I say that I spend a lot of time thinking…probably too much time. I’m always going over things in my head like what I said, what I did, how I was perceived, what I did wrong, what I did right, what I could’ve done better, what I will do, what I should do, what will happen if I do or don’t do….It’s a never ending cycle that has me going YIKES 25/8. I’m always thinking about what I should’ve changed or what will change instead of just being present. Like I said, I do think it’s good to reflect on the past but we should never bury ourselves in it and the same goes for the future. I often find myself burrowing in a pit that has yet to exist, if it ever will, driving myself mad! I’m always thinking about the future and all the changes that will happen when in reality…I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT WILL HAPPEN….and that’s what scares me.
Life is one big constant made up of inconsistencies, whether it be our emotions, our relationships, our jobs…things are always changing and so often we don’t even realize it. As overwhelming as change may be for some of us, it keeps life interesting…without it, we’d be bored. There would be nothing new. So yeah change FREAKS ME OUT, but it’s good…IT’S GREAT….sometimes it’s bad…but even when we think it’s bad it’s often a blessing in disguise.
Pb & Gel 